At the Range
by maidenpride
Summary: Takes place at the end of Heart Failure (S5E14) and fills in some missing scenes/plot pieces. Explores Sharon's mindset and hopefully answers some questions about her excellent marksmanship, the revelation of her past coming back to haunt her, and what Stroh means for her and Andy. Rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

AN: Thank you to blacktag189 for giving this a quick beta read. This takes place at the end of Heart Failure (S5E14) and fills in some missing scenes/plot pieces. I rarely write in the first person, but I thought with how that episode played out in made the most sense to be completely in Sharon's head.

Soundtrack: K Flay "Blood in the Cut"

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay and wait for you?" Andy asked.

"No, I'm sure. Really, I'm fine," I replied with a small smile that caused me to wince with pain.

"I can go to a meeting tomorrow," he said hesitantly.

"Andy, I think it would be good for you to go tonight, after everything…" I paused not sure I wanted to say any more out loud. Thankfully, he seemed to understand, as he always did, and nodded.

"Ok, I'll see you at home. Please don't stay too late." He squeezed my hand in reassurance. We were still at work, and while everyone but Buzz had left for the written exam the last thing I needed was for Davis to see her boyfriend giving her a kiss goodbye.

Sighing, I squeezed his hand back, "until this evening."

Back in the privacy of my office I picked up the ice packet and gingerly placed it against my cheek. The cold stung as did the pressure, it was going to look nasty come morning. It hurt worse than I remembered. It had been years since I thought about that awful night, and after it happened I thought I would never forget the feeling. I guess time does heal more than we think.

Stacks of paperwork filled my inbox. It seemed that with the team out doing active shooter training and Davis hovering around the murder room things were piling up. Taking a deep breath I sat down at my desk and with my free hand brought over the first file folder. One at a time, that was the only way to wade out of all of this, just keep my head down and stay focused.

As I reached for the next file I heard a knock at my door, surprising me as I thought everyone had left already. Seeing Fritz standing there was a pleasant relief, I couldn't take anymore attacks today, I didn't really have anything left to give the day.

"Chief, what can I do for you?" I asked, gesturing for him to come in and take a seat. Unlike Taylor, Howard seemed disinclined to maintain the typical power structures. He wasn't a very hands on boss. Not to say he didn't like being kept informed and involved when necessary, but he was content to flow in and out of the team without an overwhelming ego. Needless to say it was a welcome change, it was one of the reasons I was really hoping that Chief Pope would keep him in the position, as much as I knew he wanted to go back to S.O.B. Anyone else taking over spelled disaster as Davis had made so overwhelming clear.

"I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing," he asked casually his tone making it seem more as a friend than a boss, pointing to the reddening mark on my left cheek.

Our conversation passed pleasantly as I caught him up on our case, it was nice feeling like I had an ally in management for a change. He closed the laptop I handed him containing the video of my assault,

"It's a shame you had to get sucker punched, but uh, great work Captain. The Tesla is coming through for us, and apparently Mr. Dey really doesn't want any of his exes revealing what's in those NDA's."

"Of course not, there could be a pattern of mitigating claims that his attack on Ellie King was uh, a one-time only crime of passion."

"Hobbs says they'll settle on Murder Two, with a parole date in 20 years."

"Good."

"And also, thank you for getting your team out of here for the written part of the active shooter test. Calms down you know who."

"I've been thinking about this a lot Chief, when it comes to Winnie Davis, watch-your-back."

"You may need to watch yours a little too. I hate to bring it up, but there is evidence that Phillip Stroh may have returned to the country. Report from Pennsylvania. It's thin, but I didn't feel right holding it back."

My heart drop as I heard him say those two words Phillip Stroh. This was bad, very bad. I schooled my expression, before replying, "the past is never really over is it?"

Howard nodded, "I haven't decided whether to tell Brenda or not. The last thing any of us needs is her getting involved again."

I nodded in agreement, Brenda had faced the man head on, but she had also spent the better part of two years stalking him trying to find evidence to put him away. I couldn't blame the man for wanting to withhold the information from his wife, what good would it do? It was the same question I was asking myself. Do I need to tell Rusty and Andy? Should I tell them?

"I understand Chief, when it comes to Stroh we are all vulnerable. Thank you for telling me I appreciate the head's up. Like you said, the reports are thin as they were when he was spotted in Cyprus. I for one never really thought he left the country, he's been somewhere in our own backyard all along in my opinion. I guess I just hoped he'd stay in whatever hole he had crawled into."

"Agreed." He stood up making his way out of his office, "Not sure if I should say this, but that interrogation reminded me a little of Brenda. Maybe don't make it a habit." He said with a smirk, "Have a nice evening Captain."

His crack comparing his wife to me had the intended effect and caused me to chuckle. A few years ago I would have been downright offended at such a comparison, but lately I've been feeling like I need to channel a little bit of Brenda to get through this political quagmire I'd found myself in. I'd still follow the rules of course, after all that's the best way to get around them, but maybe a dose of her sass wouldn't hurt. I lifted the ice pack back to my cheek flinching again at the offensive touch and set it back down. _We're past the ice stage._

Looking up from my desk I noticed that the office was now completely empty, the lights had dimmed. Finally having a quiet, private moment to myself I could feel the emotions bubbling up. The onslaught from Davis, the assault, Andy's continued medical issues, and now Stroh it was really beginning to feel like too much. How much more could a person pile on before they broke -I could feel the break coming. All of it had me feeling weak, helpless, and on the defensive. Three things I despised. Three things that on their own I could manage, but when grouped together left me feeling uncertain. I needed to get out of this office. I needed to get out of this room - it was too quiet. I needed the noise.

Grabbing my things I quickly exited my office and headed to the basement. I made a beeline for the lockers and placed my things in, pulling out my Glock. Checking in, I got my target and rounds. Neither the officer nor I spoke. He knew me and I knew him. This wasn't the first time I was making the late night rounds on the range. I walked down to the last stall, my stall, and pinned up my target, pushing the button and sending it back down range. I placed the ear protection over my ears and slid on my custom eyewear. Took a stance and began firing in rapid succession.

First the flash.

Then the sound.

Finally the smell of powder.

I could finally breath again. I would need to fire several more rounds before I could feel any real relief, but it was a start. Picking up the box I opened the magazine and re-loaded. Locking the clip and advancing a round into the chamber I took my stance again and fired repeatedly at my target.

With each pull of the trigger I was releasing a little more of that energy. The round expelled and then a breath.

Repeating the steps more slowly as the evening continued, I felt that calm begin to wash over me. The calm I had been craving for days. The calm I needed even more after hearing Stroh was rearing his ugly head in my life once again. The past was never gone, everything about this last case proved that to me.

This Davis/Raydor show down was only rivaled by the one I had with Brenda nearly a decade ago - the irony wasn't lost on me. The shoe was finally on the other foot, who would have ever thought she would be the one defending Major Crimes and its existence to the rest of the LAPD, it made me laugh at the ludicrousness of it all. Things with Andy had fallen back into a similar pattern. He had another health crisis and I was hovering over him being overprotective again. Not to mention the uncoincidental pattern of boyfriends that infiltrated the Dey/King case. I couldn't help but think of my own pattern - the men in my life. I certainly have a type. Andy was nothing like Jack, and yet very much like Jack. Their histories were uncanny. What on earth attracted me to these men, I'll never understand why I keep going down the same path. Isn't that the definition of insanity - maybe that's it maybe I'm just losing it thinking that things will change even when I'm not making different decisions.

I took my stance again and fired at the target, already riddled with holes, remembering the first time I came to the range. The first time I realized the catharsis I could achieve by coming here.

I _t was twenty years ago. Things with Jack had begun to unravel. His drinking had worsened. The gambling habit was becoming more and more obvious as our bank account dwindled. But that was the final night, the night I kicked him out and filed for separation the following morning. I had just come off a 36-hour shift and was enjoying her day off. Naturally with two kids and a husband that house was in disrepair, piles of laundry to do and a grocery shopping trip to fix the bare pantry. Standing in the laundry room singing along to the radio as I sorted the laundry, pulling out Jack's shirts from everything else, so I could drop them off at the cleaners on her way to the market. I almost missed it. Pulling the shirt collar up I saw the unmistakable smudges of makeup. I grabbed the other shirts from the pile and began inspecting them - spotting more tan smudges. As my suspicions mounted I pulled out his briefs and spotted the unmistakable stains of sex. Holding his clothes I fell to the floor in front of the washing machine. He was cheating on me. It wasn't just drinking and gambling - it was more, it was sex. The man I loved had another woman. He could be fucking her right now. My hands trembled. I thought we could overcome the booze, that he could manage the gambling - but an affair - I wasn't sure how to come back from that. If I even wanted him to come back from that._

 _I jumped up and dropped the clothes onto the floor and ran to her bathroom. I felt dirty. We had made love a few hours earlier and the thought of him fucking someone else before coming home and having me was too much - I tore off my clothes and turned the shower on hot. Climbing in I reached for the body wash and began scrubbing my skin. The water was too hot and I was scrubbing so fiercely that the skin began to bleed from irritation. I collapsed onto the shower floor and sobbed until the water began to run cold. Not really knowing what to do next I got out of the shower and dried off. Leaving my hair dripping wet while I pulled on a baggy sweatshirt and trackpants and made my way back to the laundry room. I spent the remainder of my day in a bit of a daze, unsure what to say to Jack when he got home - if he came home - tonight._

 _Hours later after dinner had been prepared, eaten, and cleaned the kids had gone to bed and I waited up for my husband. Sitting on the couch in the dark I could hear the clock ticking as the minutes passed. By 11, I almost gave up the waiting game assuming he intended to stay with whomever was leaving stains on his clothing, when I heard the key turn in the lock._

 _I couldn't remember much from the confrontation. There was yelling and arguing. Then there was pain and then darkness. I woke up on the living room floor. My jaw was throbbing. The lights in the house were still off, but the sun was beginning to peek through the curtains. Knowing the kids would be up soon, I crawled onto her feet and went into the kitchen. I prepped their lunches and left them a note and went back to bed. I was initially surprised to see the room was empty. The bed untouched. Checking the closet I noticed a few of Jack's suits were missing. I locked the bedroom door and crawled under the blankets, trying to figure out what to do next._

 _Finally, when the afternoon light filled the room, I got up steeling myself for the difficult conversations I was going to have to have - with Gavin, with my parents, with the children. I felt my jaw and winced at the pain - this would not happen again - it was the final straw. We might have been able to work out everything else, but this wasn't something that I could forgive nor forget. In that moment I vowed to never forget this feeling - the physical and emotional pain - wanting to ensure I never allowed myself to feel like this again._

 _Covering my face with copious amounts of makeup I left the house with no destination in mind. Mostly I drove around for awhile, until I could feel the overwhelming weight of everything begin to come crashing down on me. I couldn't break, wouldn't break. My children needed me now to be strong. Minutes later I found myself parked out front of Parker Center, I wasn't really sure why, but grabbing her gym bag I went in. Hoping that perhaps an intense workout might help pull me together, regain control. As I stepped onto the elevator I found myself riding not down to the gym, but to the range. Locking my things away, grabbing my side arm, target, rounds, and protection and made my way to the last empty stall. Setting up, I took a deep breath and fired successive rounds. Each pull of the trigger releasing pent of emotions. Each round allowing her to feel stronger. I knew I could protect myself, I would never be this vulnerable again._

 _During the weeks that followed my separation I spent many nights down at the range, by myself. Most of the LAPD had no idea what a marksman I was becoming through this emotional ritual that I went through when I needed it most. Never again would I be caught off-guard._

I shook my head at the memory, so much for never again. I pushed the button bringing my target back - the chest was shredded with holes. The spot between the eyes also had several holes. At least I still have it, I mused. I collected my things and headed back to the locker, finally feeling ready to go home. I wasn't really sure what I was going to say when I got there, but at least I wasn't about to fall apart anymore. Andy has his meetings and I had this, it didn't mean we didn't talk to each other but sometimes we both needed to process things apart before coming back together.

As I pushed the button for the elevator heading to the parking garage my mind returned to Stroh. My head was in a clearer place now, to think through the steps. It isn't in my nature to lie, but I'm not so sure I want to share this information with Andy. Certainly not with Rusty, there's no reason to freak him, or Gus, out when there's such a thin report of information. But Andy, I knew he deserved to know, but he doesn't need the added stress on his heart. It's still a lie, even if it is a lie of omission. As I climbed into my car and headed for the house, I pulled out my phone and sent Andy a quick text letting him know I was on my way home. He replied quickly with a 'see you soon,' and I decided then to keep Stroh to myself for the time being. I turned onto the road headed for the condo, this could all blow up in my face…


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I was just going to leave this be with the one chapter, but many of you asked to see what happened when she got home. I had to wait until I saw last night's episode, before putting pen to paper (so to speak). This is definitely PG-13 for sexual situations.**

 **Chapter 2**

I just wanted to forget about everything. About Stroh, my despondent son, Davis - all of it. Walking into the condo I dropped my things off next to my desk in a loud thud, it was louder than I intended and caused Andy to look up from the dining room table.

"Hey, everything okay?" He asked.

"No, no it's not." I replied a bit flippantly.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, not really." I said, knowing that wasn't entirely true, but feeling done going over things.

Thankfully he dropped the line of inquiry, probably knowing I wouldn't say anything anyways. "I picked up some soup and salad from Whole Foods if you want some? I wasn't sure if you had gotten something to eat already." He offered.

I suddenly felt a little bad for being annoyed, "Um, yeah thanks I think I'll warm up a little soup. I'm not terribly hungry but should eat something." The way he looked up at me confirmed that was what he was thinking, but wasn't going to say to me - he knew better when I was in one of my moods.

We sat and ate together in silence, it was a mostly comfortable silence. I was surprised that I didn't mind having him in my space when I felt like being alone, he seemed to understand when I needed to be left alone and gave me the time to do that. I still miss having the condo completely to myself - no kids, no partners just me. I wouldn't trade what I have now for what I had five years earlier, but I can't deny wanting my cake and eating it too. Dammit, now I want some cake. After Andy's heart attack we threw out all the tempting sweets from the house, I was never like Brenda, but I certainly enjoy a piece of dark chocolate salted caramel every now and then.

"So how did it go at the range," he asked moving away from the table to clean up his dishes.

I gave him an incredulous look, "How did you know?"

"Sharon, I make it my business to know everything there is to know about you," he replied. I looked at him with suspicion and he added, "That and I may have seen you down there a few times over the years. It didn't take much to put two and two together."

I sat in silence, stunned by this revelation, "But you never said anything."

He wiped his hands and closed the dishwasher, "No, it wasn't my place. If that helps you cope then who am I to question it. Besides if it makes you even more of a bad ass why would I ever complain?" He said throwing me a signature Flynn smile.

"Hmm," was all I could mutter.

"So, did it help?" He pressed again for an answer.

I nodded, "I feel better than when I went in, so I guess it helped." I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue, so I stopped talking waiting to see if he would say anything else, when he didn't I opened my mouth to excuse myself, but that's not what came out. "I'm just feeling out of sorts Andy, there's so much going on right now and I'm having a hard time keeping everything in check and under control. You know? And now Howard drops the bombshell that Stroh might be back, and," It was out before I even realized I said it, and I couldn't take it back.

"What do you mean Stroh is back?" Andy asked interrupting my anxiety-fueled ramble.

"Um, yes, well," collecting myself, "very thin reports that he might have been spotted in Pennsylvania. Honestly Andy, after reading over the report the evidence seems as far-fetched as him being in Cyprus a few years ago. I don't think we have anything to worry about, really, it was more just the shock of hearing his name again after all this time that did me in." I told him, really though I was telling myself. Trying to reassure myself that this wasn't something to be concerned about, be aware of yes, but no need to alter my life because of a veiled sighting.

Andy let out a sigh before moving towards the dining room table and sitting next to me, he took my hands in his before speaking again, "OK. Will you let me read the report?" He asked more calmly than I anticipated.

"Yes, it's in my bag," I replied gesturing towards my desk.

"Thank you," he paused and I moved to get up from the table, "wait," I sat back down, "were you going to tell me?"

And there it is, "Honestly, no I wasn't going to worry you about it, and before you ask I'm not planning on mentioning it to Rusty at least not tonight. He has enough going on with Gus right now."

He looked at me for a second, "OK. Well thank you for telling me and for letting my read the report for myself. I agree holding off on telling the Kid, until we know more."

I couldn't understand why he was being so calm about this, I honestly expected him to fly off the handle about both Stroh and me not planning to tell him about it, "Andy, are you upset with me?"

He stood up and moved back into the kitchen, "Well I can't say I'm thrilled that Stroh may be resurfacing and I'm not happy that you didn't plan to tell me. I know when you last faced him things were different, you were on your own. But now, I'm here and what happens to you, happens to me. We are in this together and I think I deserve to know these kinds of things, I would hope that you'd trust me with this kind of information - not just as your boyfriend but as your Lieutenant. Stroh impacts all of us Sharon, he has a reason to come after any one of us."

I knew he was right, about all of it. I've probably been on my own too long, I'm not well-adapted to having others to count on, to be there by my side to get through these kinds of things, "I'm sorry Andy. It wasn't that I didn't trust you, it's just that I guess I worried about your heart and whether the stress of everything in my life would be too much for you. I come with a lot of baggage you know?"

"Sharon, I come with plenty of baggage on my own - as you well know. We have so much baggage we could easily fill the underneath of a 747. That's not the point though Sharon, it is that we are a team now - my baggage is yours and yours is mine. And when it comes to Stroh he's everyone's. As for my heart, sweetheart I'm fine. You know that. My last check-up went well, while I still don't understand how I could have had a heart attack in the first place, it doesn't matter because things are healing just fine. The stent they put in his doing it's job." He tried to reassure me, but I could feel the emotion rising up within me once again.

"I know Andy," my voice broke, "I know that, it's just I can't get that image of you collapsing on the floor out my head." I finally let the words out, the thought that's been haunting me for weeks now. The vision paled in comparison to anything else she had witnessed with Andy - the one exception being the night of his stabbing. "I just came so close to losing you _again_ and it scares me."

He pulled me in tightly, wrapping his arms around me, "I know sweetheart, I know and I'm sorry about scaring you like that. It scared me too - the thought of losing you and everything else that I have in my life right now. But I'm here now and we need to thank God for that blessing, and begin to move forward, to keep living. We've been granted a second chance." I felt him kiss the top of my head as I leaned my head against his chest listening to his heart thump away. It was a comforting sound, one that I found myself seeking out more and more during the night.

I looked up at him and we kissed, gently at first and then I felt him deepen it. Initially, reluctant I pulled back, "Andy, we can't."

"Sharon, we can, you know we can. The doctor said six weeks, it's been eight. He said if I could go up a flight of stairs that I would be just fine - well I can go up three without any issues. At some point we need to take that next step, we can't just live in fear that something will happen if we are intimate." His voice sounded strong and assuring, and while I knew what he was saying was true I had trouble believing it.

"I know what the doctor said Andy, but I can't help being worried about you." I said nervously.

Andy pulled away from me slightly, "Are you sure it isn't something else? Maybe this isn't what you want anymore?"

"No, no Andy, that's not it. I'm just concerned that's all. I want to be with you, in so many ways - believe me it's been a long two months for me too." I said trying to impart some confidence that he wasn't the problem, the situation was the issue.

"So if I'm not the problem, and we both want each other, then what's the problem Sharon. Why are you so reluctant to even try to move forward. I mean we've hardly kissed. We don't have to make love right out of the gate, but it would nice to just lay naked with you and touch you."

I could tell he was trying to make an effort to make me feel more comfortable, "Okay, if you don't mind taking it very, very slow then I think it would be nice to just be with you for a little while. Especially after the day I've had."

He pulled me back into a warm embrace, "Thank you Sharon. I'm fine taking a slow pace, who knows it could be fun like that - just like old times." He said winking at me as he pulled me down the hall into our bedroom.

Andy shut the door while I stood in the middle of the room, I knew what he wanted to do next and I wanted him to do it just as badly. He dimmed the lights and slowly pulled off my jacket. Then unbuttoned my blouse letting it fall off my shoulders. I lifted my arms as his hands went to my waist and he tugged the camisole out of my trousers and then over my head. Moving around to my back he placed a kiss on my shoulder, then the other and unclasp my bra. I let out a soft moan as my body shook at his touch, it had been far too long since he had touched me like this. Still behind me he reached his arms around me to unbutton my trousers, he circled back to face me and knelt on the floor kissing my stomach before unzipping and pulling my slacks down to my ankles. I placed my hands on his shoulders as I stepped out of each pant leg and stepped aside. He caressed my legs as he made his way back up to me.

Standing in only my panties, I began loosening his tie and undoing the buttons of his dress shirt. I pulled the ends out from his black slacks and let it fall onto the floor. Mirroring his earlier actions he rose his hands as I lifted his undershirt over his head and allowed my hands to caress his chest, sliding down to the button of his pants. Zipping them down, I reached my hands around his waist and gave them a little tug as they fell onto the floor. As he stepped out of them and kicked them aside, I moved my hands into the waistband of his boxer briefs squeezing his butt as I hooked my fingers onto the elastic and pulled them down.

Andy moved towards the bed pulling back the comforter and I followed him. He sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled me into him, standing between his legs. His hands ran up and down the my sides, it felt so good to be touched again. I felt all the tension from the day begin to slowly chip away with each caress. He pulled me down onto the bed with him, laying on top of him. He was giving me an opportunity to listen to his heart again, to hear that everything was okay and it made me relax. Andy's hands moved to my back, his fingertips were just barely ghosting over my skin making it feel electric and I let out another pleasurable moan. His hands moved under my panties and cupped my butt before trying to scoot the offending lace item down. I lifted my hips up to make his work easier. When finally our skin touched each other we let out a mutual sigh of both relief and comfort. We both needed this, he was right, I had been scared and it was keeping me from being with him fully. Eventually, I rolled off his chest and curled myself into his side, careful to not bump my cheek. We continued touching and caressing one another, but I still didn't feel comfortable going all the way tonight.

Andy pulled the covers up over us and I felt myself beginning to drift off. As much as my body was crying out for release, my mind was exhausted. I let out a low hum of satisfaction, this was definitely a good start to getting our relationship back on track, tonight this was enough.

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 **Partly I was inspired to right this particular chapter because I was frustrated by the whole notion that after months they still wouldn't have had sex. According to the research I've done doctors say 4-6 weeks, unless you had bypass surgery. Safe to assume he didn't, so they should be good to go physically - I want to explore the emotional component. Also, many doctors say that it can have a real impact on the relationship because couples don't know how to "restart" that part of their life - often times many just end up abstaining. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my take on all that.**

 **There may or may not be a follow-up to this chapter, we'll see how next week's Shandy turns out. Anyone else excited by all the home scenes we get now?**


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